he puts the penis in happiness.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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