You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
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