I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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