he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
