She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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