She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
