if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
