Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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