The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize