Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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