no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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