He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
