i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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