I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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