Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
