The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
being pregnant is like rehab
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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