Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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