Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
