at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
