and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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