this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
