Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
