The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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