idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
