margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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