one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
