And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize