This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
