Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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