It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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