i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
