i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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