Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize