"it" just moved
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
