Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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