I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
