just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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