And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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