Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
