bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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