Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I smell stomach acid.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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