We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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