I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize