I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize