glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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