i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
