I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
