me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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