Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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