he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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