This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize