at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
