Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
