I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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