my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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