I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
