My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
