you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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