the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
